The ramblings of a Crazy

It has been a hard few weeks.  I thought that when the holidays were over things would get back to what would return to some semblance of normal.  I know that normal really is a state of mind. However, I frequently feel there is nothing normal about running around putting out fires. Then I heard someone say, well with the Ice Storm, I finally got my Christmas decorations down. Mine have been down, but the boxes are still sitting where I tucked them in the livingroom.  See this year, I decided to buy a real tree early.  So early, that it barely made to Christmas.  I tried so hard to force that Christmas Spirit on myself.  I made myself bake cookies, put up decorations, I even made myself listen to Christmas music. It worked a little bit.  I mean we are celebrating the birth of Jesus, Right? If that is not something to celebrate then I don’t know what is.  The problem is Christmas has become a time when I focus on who is not here  or where I am not, that I have hard time focusing on the birth of Christ. But the holidays are over and all that fuss is supposed to be over, the radio station just played a holiday commercial – It stated Christmas is almost here- THROW THE RADIO!!!!- no seriously someone oopsed and played the wrong tape. Yet it reminded me that how with the flu, and doctor appointments, the groove of the ordinary is nowhere to be found. Yet Jesus was born and he did die, he gave His life for ours, how is that normal?  Which brings me to the question what exactly is normal.  I think the reason some sort of semblance of normal has not returned to my life, almost a month after Christmas; I have a sinking feeling that God has change on the horizon.  Yes, I said sinking, I mean seriously who likes change.  The only thing I can do is pray a couple of prayers: Lord whatever the change is please let it begin, I really prefer order to chaos. Or Lord, if there is something I am missing send in the bricks, I am just not getting it. I know chaos can’t be the new norm, Chaos is from the evil one.  He is stirring the pot, trying to keep me distracted from the victory God has right within my grasp. I know I just have to close my hand around it.  Okay Lord, another prayer, can I stop being blind as a bat?  Can I see the solution for pity sakes? I do know that I need to stop allowing the evil one to allow chaos to rule. When things don’t go according to my plan, I will open my eyes to see God’s plan; I will endeavor to tell Satan yeah so what if I have to take three detours and a side step, who cares you can’t stop me because you can’t stop God.

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