My trip to the ER and God’s hand

A week ago today, I sat in a hospital room trying to get some rest.  If you have ever been in a hospital you know how ridiculous that is.  Someone is coming into your room every half an hour turning on the lights leaving the door open. Then because of the machines, you have to press the call button and ask the nurse to turn off the lights and shut the door.  It gave me a new appreciation for nurses.  It has also given me a new appreciation for life.

The night before a terrible pain woke me up, I thought I was having a heart attack.  poor hubby had just gone to bed, when I told him we have to go to the ER.  Dressed in pajamas and slippers, sitting on an ER bed with machines hooked up to me all the beeping and dinging, I pray. I ask God to rescue me because I am not done yet.  I am not ready to stop spreading the word, explaining the word. I am not done telling people that they are wonderful creations.  I cried out to God, “God heal me”.

My heart came out of AFIB in five hours.  The cardiologist tells me that is unusual.  I tell him how frustrated the whole thing made me; I had been working so hard to get my numbers down, get back some mobility.  And I have gotten back a lot of mobility.  I was bringing my BP and my resting pulse was down to an average of 67.  My blood sugars were averaging 125.  Which is really great since just a few months prior my blood sugars were bouncing from 110 to 250.  A few months prior, I could barely walk across the room because my feet hurt so bad.

I had decided that I was not going to be that person and I stretched and did things to improve.  For the first time in years, I could sit down and put my shoes on without having to pull my leg up. I was ecstatic.  Then I crashed. But the cardiologist said something that gave me hope.  He spoke the wisdom from God. He said even healthy people, athletes can go into AFIB and many people’s hearts don’t go back into a normal rhythm on their own let alone as quickly as your did.

I should have told him that it was God.  I am not sure, I don’t remember, but I think I said I prayed.  Not only did I pray, but my husband prayed and I asked many more to pray.

I took this ugly picture  of my feet and posted it to my Instagram and shared in on my Facebook. Since I was still in the middle of everything it was a simple caption.  It said “AFIB Prayers” .  Later when I was more able, I sent out a couple of texts.  But at that point, I knew I needed more prayer, only God could heal me.

The verses that I had studied time and time again weren’t popping into my mind.  All I could think was I need God to heal me.  I could hear him whisper two things, sleep and ask for prayer.  I tried to do it backwards, but God expects us to follow the directions.

In 2 Kings 5:10, 14:  Elisha told the man to was himself in the Jordan River  seven times.

If he hadn’t followed the directs, he wouldn’t have been cleansed of the leprosy.

The same is true for us.  If we only follow half of the directions God has given us, or we follow but not in the order God gave us, it doesn’t work.  See the second time, I put forth the effort to take a picture, post it, then as I looked at my exhausted husband, touched his hand, I feel asleep.  We awoke to the doctor coming back in the room, the rhythm of my heart was back to normal.  They kept me about  10 more hours for observation, before sending me home.  Where I could rest.

I thought I was living, but I now see the difference. Living means actually enjoying life, laughing not always serious.




John 1: 12-13: Child of God

I frequently hear people say that they are worthless, stupid, and other things such as that.  It tends to irk me, but then I realize that I too have been just the same. I forget that I am a child of God and because I am a child of God, I am wonderful, beautiful.  There was a woman in my life that really made me struggle with this concept. She made me feel unworthy because of the way I dressed, wore my hair, and I didn’t wear makeup.  She told me that people won’t listen to me because I don’t look put together. What she didn’t understand is that I did the best that I could.  I was fashion illiterate. But that did not mean that I was any less capable of doing the things that God was pushing me to do.  I pushed and she told me that I was too stupid to lead a woman’s group. Too Stupid, Too ugly, and Too unpolished.  That held my Christian growth back a few years, because I actually started to believe her.

Then I started looking at Christian women who were in the public eye.  I noticed one thing that they all wore clothes that matched, they all had perfect makeup and they all had perfect hair. WHILE THEY WERE ON STAGE. Because I got to see one of these women out on the street.  They looked like me, jeans T-shirt, hair messed up but best of all NO MAKE UP. I asked her if this is how she looked all the time. She told me that most of the time she also has cow poop on her. Then I realized that it is not about your looks, it is about your gift. She explained that the polished look is just for the stage.  I listened to someone tell me that each of us is beautiful, each has our own gifts and we have to use our own talents. Just because mine is not all the girly stuff, doesn’t mean that God does not have a mission for me. But perception is  important.  What he has done is put people in my life that have shown me how to dress, wear make up and learn about fashion. While I teach them how to read the Bible, How to explore God’s word, how to live the life God has for them.  If that woman a long time ago, had been the great leader that she claims to be, she would have seen all the diamonds in the rough that God placed in her hands. All the diamonds that like me, she made feel unworthy. Because in that group there were many that she made feel unworthy.  She was wrong. Each child of God is worthy. Each had their own talents. Each has a purpose in the Kingdom of God.

John 1: 12-13:

12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

472 words about Distraction

Distractions, they are everywhere.  It is important to set time for God’s word. But there are so many distractions. I want to set time for the word, but things get in the way.  We are out of groceries so I need to make a grocery order. The clothes are dirty. Oh it is time to make a meal. I just need another cup of coffee then I will be ready. The truth is studying the word is just like everything else in our life, we have to make time for it.  God knew we would be distracted, that we would forget.  In Deuteronomy 6:6-9, we find that God told us to write it everywhere.

 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Once we make time for God, we will find it easier to make time for the other things in our lives. Just like paying tithes, it works. Proverbs 3, tells about putting God first. It tells us that putting God first, will give us peace and prosperity.

Want to find out, try it.  Put time aside each day for God. Does it have to be first thing in the morning?  Well, I know that it works for me. What if I am not a “morning” person?  I get that, and I have compassion on the matter.  Many people are not morning people. However, putting God first really does mean first.  What it doesn’t mean is that you have to set aside a large study time. 

In today’s world, it is easier to put God first. Instead of looking at whatever you look at first thing in the morning on your phone, look at that Bible app. First read the verse of the day.  Guess what, you have just put God first. Putting God first does not mean that we have to carve out large chunks of the day.

It just means that we have to first focus on God then everything else will flow. Is that first verse of the day enough? Not if you really want to understand the word; but it is a great start. If you aren’t a morning person, that is fine.  But find some time, start slow 10 minutes and build from there. Intentionally set aside some minutes to pray and read the word.  At first it will be hard, but eventually you will find it so much easier. It is just like any other good habit, one step at a time.


The wrong direction

When God tells us we are going the wrong direction….

We should listen, but sometimes we say, but I am comfortable where I am.

We should move but sometimes we don’t know how.

We should follow but we make excuses.

Aren’t we glad that when Jesus asked the disciples to follow, they weren’t like us?

If they were like us the story wouldn’t have been told.

When we think we don’t know how, want to make an excuse, or feel as if where we are is comfortable.

We should think of who might miss because we don’t move.

Am I ever going to eat a meal by myself again?

Hebrews 13:16 tells us to do good, to share with others.  Many people share, the question is how do you share?  Do you share gladly?  Or do you share because the Bible tells you that you should?  There have been times in my life, when I shared because it was the right thing to do.  My heart really wasn’t in sharing or giving.

One time really sticks out in my head, it is silly, but it really happened.  My son was about 4 months old, already eating soft solid foods.  I had feed him, made a meal and sat down to eat. He wanted me to share my food with him.  I was rather irritated. I shared, but my heart wasn’t in it.  My thoughts were something like this: “Am I ever going to eat a meal by myself again?”  It is a thought many young mothers feel.

What do we do when someone asks can I borrow? especially if it is the person that never returns anything?  We are supposed to share.  I really think it depends on what you can afford to replace if you aren’t expecting to get it back.  There is a point when it is okay to say no but Jesus said that we are supposed to give to the one who borrows:

Matthew 5: 40-42: 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Why are we supposed to give like this?  Not because Jesus says, but because we love Jesus.  Because we love Jesus, we want to share His love with others. This is just one way we share Jesus.

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