I have written anything for sometime now.  It has been hard. I thought that I was doing things that God wanted me to do.  I thought I had life figured out.  Find a job, write on the side. Get rid of all the extra junk that is cluttering my house.  I give away as much as I can.  But I am not a fan of Goodwill and am currently seeking a place that pretty much gives household items away without taking a huge profit. I know they say they help people, and perhaps they do; but their CEO’s make more in one year than the people they claim to help make in a lifetime. Like I said, I thought I had it all figured out.

Then this series at church happened: “LOVE UNLIMITED”. The pastor started talking about how we are supposed to love people with out regards of the consequences to ourselves.  He pointed out that if we believe that we are supposed to follow Jesus’ guide, then we love without regards to ourselves.  The series was wrapped up with the truth that we are supposed to turn everything over to Jesus, even our relationships, to include the one with HIM. After all, every thing, every relationship, every day is from God and we need to be good stewards of everything HE gives us.  EVERYTHING.

Right now, I am trusting God for healing I have so much to do not just those things I mentioned before, but I have so much communicating God’s LOVE, given through HIS word to people.  I have so much LOVE to show people and unused talents.  There is a new idea forming in my head, right now my health sucks. I am getting better it is just taking some time. But through all this I realized that if I focus just on me, then I am doing no better than I was before.  Oh sure, I need to take care of me, otherwise there will be no ME to do these things.

I am learning Balance the hard way.  I thought that I had it.  Maybe I did this last health issue is common and can strike anyone but mostly women.  Since I am praying and believing in healing, I don’t want to focus on the ailments, which I believe are all related, I don’t want to live my life as a …., I want to live my life as an active loving ministering Christian woman. Sure it takes time to heal, but while I am healing I can still share Jesus with whomever will listen. Once healed, I can move on having learned balance (hopefully) and be a true doer for the KINGDOM of God.

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.

Acts 20:24 NIV


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