life changes learning how to slow the pace

Hello,

I am just writing a few words about #LifeWithJeus.

There are days when at the end of the day, I feel like I am losing while other days, I think I am winning.  There are days when I go to bed so exhausted that I have trouble going to sleep.  My vitals are monitored daily.  I hate to do it because if the numbers aren’t low enough, then I am stressed which doesn’t help anything.  But through all this Jesus has been there.  He is teaching me that what the doctors and I think are most important are not always important.  Sitting for half an hour to get the stress free BP can be annoying. But It is necessary.  So I pray and ask God to help me be patient.

Through this, I have realized that I have lost focus on the big picture.  Jesus.

The picture is clear, I see it in my mind’s eye.  Today I heard a clear message, stop worrying about my health and return to living.  Sure I need to pay attention to following my doctor’s advice; I just can’t make it my main focus. (Please don’t tell my husband)

He is still in the “I almost lost you stage”.  I have been so focused on staying calm, that it is all I do.  What I should be focusing on is Jesus.  He is telling me to focus on not rushing.  See my health went south because I rushed and rushed but I never got ahead. There was always something that if this were… I was trying to make everything perfect.  Because everyone would be happy if everything were perfect.  The truth is I was making everyone miserable trying to make everything perfect.  I was not happy.  I knew my vitals were bad but I didn’t take them enough to convince anyone that things were horrible wrong.  I heard people say take care of yourself.  Sure I do.  No I didn’t.  I thought I did.  I would get my hair done regularly, I worried that my outfit matched, shaved my legs, checked myself for cuts or bruises that weren’t healing.

That is not taking care of yourself.  That is making yourself presentable to the world.  What the world doesn’t realize is that I don’t care if things are out-of-place or mismatched. it is a huge stressful chore worrying about all that stuff.

Taking care of yourself means eating well, getting sleep, spending time with Jesus. Finding time to relax.  Each person relaxes in a different way.  Some people find playing Candy Crush relaxing Okay great for you.

I find baking relaxing.  I need to find people to eat the back goods.  I an accomplished baker. If it goes in the oven I got it.  If it is on top of the stove, well it is good but not great. I bake casseroles, cakes, cookies, meatloaf, spaghetti sauce, brownies, pies, (okay I am weak on pies), chicken – I do bake a pot pie that is out of this world good.  I am not such a hot pizza pie baker.  I am also not the best bread baker.  I either forget the bread and am baking at midnight or I don’t start it soon enough and hasn’t had enough time to raise.

Baking makes me think about how Jesus is with us.  We want to take short cuts, but in baking short cuts ruin everything. Jesus wants us to go through all the paces.

Trying to jump through the steps is like baking bread without any salt.

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