I have been thinking lately, that I need to write something. I need to refocus on my mission. But I was overwrought with fear. If you remember, about 4 months ago; I had couple of serious emergency room visits. I could have died. But God said it is not my time. I have more work for you to do. At first I was resolute, this was not going to stop me. Then another more serious event occurred.
I understand God, I need to slow down. No problem, but how do I do that. The past few months have been discovering how to let things go. The furniture needs dusting, so what. I need to make blah blah – so what, If I get to it, I will get to it.
One of the best things that I have done to minimize my stress is to buy my groceries online. Yes, I have to trust someone else to pick it out for me. If it is not satisfactory, I can send it back. How it works is I place an order and later I go pick it up. This means I can look at the product before signing for it. Yippee
The real battle is the fear; if I start going too fast, then maybe I will end up back in the emergency room. I have once, but God is faithful. In that room my husband and I prayed. My blood pressure dropped to an acceptable rate. We learned the importance of praying together.
But I still wasn’t finding time to write to tell people how wonderful God is. How he is changing me. Even today, I resolved to write. Things distracted me. First the router flashed a message about authorizing an update. Okay done. Then I remembered that I needed to order groceries.
Recently, I have been reading scripture reminding me “I should not fear, God is with me.” It really struck home when the doctor started quoting scripture to me. The tears rolled down my eyes, as I smiled back at him. I heard God in his words. Sure I had read it. Seemed as if every scripture I read; God was reminding me that he is in control and that I needed to focus on him.
One of the distractions sounded as if it were God, but then I prayed for confirmation. I started reading scripture that clearly indicated that my ministry can not be separated from my husband’s ministry. It sounded as if God had answered a long time prayer for me. But after the third scripture mentioning that my ministry is interwoven with my husband’s ministry, I knew that this was the evil one trying to sway me. See they kept saying don’t discuss this with anyone, not even your husband. This is contrary to scripture. Which by the way, is a good way to tell if it is really from God. God’s advice will never contradict his word.
In the mean time, I was distracted from writing. I was distracted from my spouse supported mission.
When I told him this morning that I was going to write something, his response was positive, but I could also hear the “it’s about time” in his voice. God speaks to me through my husband all the time. If you think God is telling you to do something and you are not certain; discuss it with your spouse. If their answer is not what you want to hear, then it is not God.
My husband has been extremely supportive as I heal. He has not complained about how messy the house has become. He has supported my efforts to lose weight and to become healthier. I practice yoga and Ti’ Chi. They are different forms of learning to calm the mind and breathing. It is more than that but for this it is enough. I am working on incorporating prayer with my meditation, slow breathing. This by the way is Biblical.
Isiah 35:4: say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.”
Isiah 54:17: no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the Lord.