There is something that I have been meaning to talk about for years.

It has to do with how we treat people.  If someone loses a child to war, we are there for them.  Which we should be they sacrificed all for us.

If a child is lost due to sickness, we are there for them.  And we should be. The child lost their life due to no fault of anybody.

But what about the mother that loses a child to gang violence, Is their pain any less than the one that lost to war or sickness?

What about a mother that loses their child to suicide? Is their grief any different?

The last two mothers we look down on them as if they pulled the trigger. They failed to move their child away from the gangs, or failed to see that their child had suicidal thoughts. We judge them incorrectly.  Jesus calls us to have mercy on these people. They are as weak as the parents that lose their child to “legitimate causes”. (Romans 15:1)

It is the holidays and there are many reasons why people may be without loved ones over the holidays. They are in the service, they live far away, they have passed on (whatever the reason), they are drug or alcohol addicts and are missing, they have been kidnapped, they ran away from home, they are mentally ill and no one knows where they are, or they are in jail.  We are not sympathetic with many of these reasons.

It is not Biblical to be unsympathetic with these parents, yet sometimes we act as if these parents deserve to be sad.  It is their fault these things have happened.  This is faulty thinking.  Sure I realize that if the parent has problems, their children are likely to have problems. But instead of blaming them, we should help them. Not hurt them. I find it hard to believe that drug addicts and alcoholics want to be that way.  They want to be clean.

The drug addict or alcoholic: the parent did not raise them right.

I have seen these signs that say raise your children right of the guards in jail will have to teach them.  This is very insulting Do you really think that these parents didn’t do the best they could?  Do you really think they tried to guide their children.  Most families with children in jail are not crime syndicate families.  It is not like it is on TV.  Most families are law-abiding citizens and except for a mistake; their children are as well. More often than not their child was in the wrong place at the wrong time and didn’t do anything to be in jail except didn’t have enough money to afford an attorney.  The Public defender is over worked and under paid and find in their best interest to plea bargain most cases. (not the interest of their client)

Families with children who commit suicide are often as shocked as the world was when Robin Williams committed suicide. There weren’t any “signs”.  There are some that say well we knew something was wrong, but we didn’t know how to help.

There are those that suffer from PTSD. We just assume that these people are crazy.  It is called Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome because they were exposed to the worst most depraved evils of the world. Most suffer in silence because they feel as if they talk about it, then people might think they are crazy, or worse people might not believe them. Although the largest population of people with PTSD are soldiers; other people suffer from PTSD as well.

Romans 15:1 We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.

Disclaimer: I am not saying that everyone has these assumptions. I don’t believe that all  people judge others.  I believe that there are people that try very hard to be sympathetic to others. I believe there are people that mean well.  I just think that there are more people that do judge, are unsympathetic, and think that many parents without loved ones especially without children, don’t deserve our consideration or sympathy.

There is one population of people that are sad over the holidays that deserve every help we can give them.  They are children with parents in jail.  Try going to school and say my daddy is in jail.  These children need our help how else can we end the cycle of poverty? (no not every child with a parent in jail is poor) but so many are poor.


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