Proverbs Challenge day 23 (long read)

22 Listen to your father, who gave you life,  and do not despise your mother when she is old.

I want to also include this passage from Mark 7: 9-13, because it helps what I am going to say. In today’s world, we just expect our teenage children to be disrespective.  This is wrong. Our teenage children should not disrespect us.

I knew a teenager that fought with his parents over everything, but he had some adults in his life that told him he was right.  They supported his right to disagree but never took the time to teach him logically disagree. By telling this teen that his opinions were right, they unwittingly helped to create the rift that grew in this family.  His way was to yell and call his parents lazy.  They didn’t make enough money.  They should make what his friend’s parents earn. They should buy all the stuff that his friend’s parents buy. (at least that is the way he saw it) Amazingly enough when trouble came the adults that supported him  while he disagreed with his parents were no where to be found.  See God tells us to avoid people that lead us astray.  Unfortunately for us most of us need to figure things out the hard way.  The teen paid a heavy price for his own folly.  He listened to many people that lead him astray.  The Bible tells us to honor our parents, listen to their instructions – over any instructions except for the Bible. Why? Your parents have your best interests at heart. Parents love their children more than anyone else. We want the best for our kids. This is why God tells us to listen to them. Only God loves them more.

I know that there are parents who are addicts, alcoholics, or maybe have serious mental health problems.  Even these parents want the best for their child, they are just stuck in a place that what is best for them may not be with the parent. This does not mean that these parents do not have value do not deserve the help to become good parents. Once they have turned their lives around, they deserve a chance. Some sadly may never reach the point where they are able to care for their children, but they will still be the ones that love their children more than anyone else is able to love their children. They should not easily be cast aside.

Although a teenager might have a good argument from their point of view, they do not have the wisdom to make some decisions.  But if your child has sound logical reasoning, then build from there for a compromise. But all this about letting children decide for themselves is not good parenting. As parents, we have to teach our children how to make good decisions, push them in the right direction when they make poor choices without condemning.

Mark 7:9-12:

And he continued, “You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions! 10 For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and, ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’ 11 But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is Corban (that is, devoted to God)— 12 then you no longer let them do anything for their father or mother. 13 Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that.”

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Concerns of Bullying at School?

It is August and in a few short weeks, students return to school.

  • There will be new students
  • There will be new cliques
  • There will be students that don’t fit

There are things as parents that we should teach our children.

Besides respecting the teacher which by the way, is on the decline; we need to teach our children to be polite.  Dear Emily Post, I am sorry you wrote lots of rules on politeness (etiquette), but somewhere along the way we lost.  Most of us don’t even have a clue as to who you are.

We need to explain to them why bullying is wrong.  The problem is most children don’t realize that they are hurting someone’s feelings.  I know the students that called me alphabet or worse because of my long last name did not realize how hurt it made me feel. Or called me greasy because of my Sicilian heritage didn’t realized I washed my hair three times a day.  I know when they asked me what I got for Christmas or my Birthday they were just trying to be polite.  How do you tell someone who you didn’t get anything except maybe a nicer meal?  Or that this year for Thanksgiving dinner we had hot dogs, mac-n-cheese, and baked beans?  Or when the cafeteria is serving liver on Monday and you eat yours and your friends that won’t touch it, everyone is saying eeew.  But it is the first meal you ate since last Friday’s lunch?

But there were those kids that maybe didn’t understand; but they were taught how to be polite and never said a word. Or pulled me away when someone was saying something mean to me.

Today, there are kids whose life is just like mine was all those years ago. If you teach your child to be polite, they won’t say anything. They might even reach out to help. They might pull the person away when someone is being mean.

There is one girl, that I remember, she had one of those friends that was mean, she was always trying to pull her friend away from me.  Her parents must have taught her how to be polite. Oh, sure we can add empathy to the list, of things we should teach our children.  But the truth is if we instruct them on the rules of etiquette all those other things will follow.

All the things that we need to improve the ever-increasing problem of bullying in our school

Empathy

The idea of Sharing

Etiquette

Kindness

The list goes on and on but it can be wrapped up with one tiny skill: Etiquette.

 

Latchkey a corporate problem

Esther 2: 2-3,8:  As I am reading this, I think to myself wow! People sent their daughters off to live in the King’s harem.  Then I thought about how today we raise our daughters.  Then I thought about all the young single women who raise their children on their own.  Young girls who become pregnant at a very young age without any family or husband to support them. Maybe sending them off to live with the king was better.  They were protected from being sold into marriage to an older man who saw them only as “Eye Candy”.

The big question is do we take care of our families? Do we reach out and stay connected?  Do we raise our sons and daughters or do we allow others to raise them for us? Or are they raising themselves?  Unfortunately many are raising themselves without any guidance, no church, no neighbors. As latchkeys, my sisters and I were fortunate, sure as the oldest, much fell on my shoulders. But I had people to call.  Neighbors, an Aunt, the church taught me how to behave- no drugs, alcohol, but most of all no boys. The neighborhood store would extend credit to me if I need to get something for us. But today’s children are not so fortunate. They steal to eat, sometimes sleep in cars or abandon buildings. If they remember, they go to school where maybe they will get a hot meal, if someone filled out the right forms.

I know that many families sent their daughters to King Xerxes’ care.  Here is the question are we choosy about who raises our children?

Latchkey was a word invented to describe a child who got home from school before their parents did.  A child who ran around unsupervised all summer.

My sisters and I were latchkey children.  But back then the neighborhood watched out for us.  See our mom was a single parent back when it was not cool to be a single parent.

Today it is different the streets are full of latchkey kids.

We don’t have kings or orphanages to keep our children when we are unable to care for them.  And we turn our backs on our children when they mess up. We ignore the problem thinking it will go away.

Which is the problem.  We need to take care of our children. Esther was an orphan who was sent to the king because of her beauty.  It might not have been the best idea.  It wasn’t the best Idea when Joseph’s brothers sold him to slavers.  But God uses Bad situations to help us be better people.  The stories of both Joseph and Esther are stories of people in bad situations.  They both saved their people.

Today, I use growing up with a single mom as an example of how important it is to find ways to personally care for my children.  It is not easy raising children on one full-time income and one part-time income, but we did. When they made mistakes and they did, we are right there saying it is okay, we still love you.  Just as Jesus still loves us when we mess up, we have to still love our children and support them even if they mess up.  I know that there are parents out there with four to five part-time jobs between them. I know these people live day by day sometimes not making ends meet. The car breaking down is a major event.

That is why I am crying out to employers, start putting people first.  I get it, you don’t have to pay benefits if you hire people part-time.  Then don’t complain about parents not raising their kids. Don’t complain that many children don’t get a decent education. Don’t complain when bad things happen at schools, shopping malls, and street events. Because the bottom line is people make your company and if you took care of people,  great things will happen in your company.

There are companies that do put people first, take care of their employees, give back to the community, these companies are thriving. My prayer is that all the companies that think not paying their employees a decent wage with decent hours is a good thing; will find themselves right were their employees are.

We don’t need kings and orphanages to take our children. We don’t need to accept latchkey children as normal. WE need companies to return to the old ways. WE need companies that want loyal employees because they know their company has got their back.  I might work some over-time with out OT, if I knew that if I have a family emergency, I am not going to be let go. I might not look for a new job if my job meet my family’s needs.

Maybe Esther was placed in the care of the king for his pleasures and it was not a good thing. But God used this bad thing for His purposes. But that does not mean that he was happy that she was placed into a harem.

WE need to get back to Christian principles. We need to stop letting our kids do whatever they want without any supervision.

Then the king’s personal attendants proposed, “Let a search be made for beautiful young virgins for the king. Let the king appoint commissioners in every province of his realm to bring all these beautiful young women into the harem at the citadel of Susa. Let them be placed under the care of Hegai, the king’s eunuch, who is in charge of the women; and let beauty treatments be given to them.

When the king’s order and edict had been proclaimed, many young women were brought to the citadel of Susa and put under the care of Hegai.

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