Accepting Help – it is as hard as asking

Recently I talked about how hard it is to ask for help. What can be harder is accepting help. You’ve been there. Someone offers to help or asks if you need anything and you turn it down.  Claiming that everything is okay, when in truth; you are falling apart.

help

We don’t want to put anyone out. You are afraid they don’t mean it.  You are afraid that your friends won’t want to talk to you any more because you might ask for a favor. Sometimes it is true, when you ask for help sometimes it seems as if people are avoiding you.  Accepting help means dropping your pride.

It means accepting that you NEED HELP.

The next question is how do offer help? You know someone in need, you feel the Spirit prompting you to go help, but there is a fear that you will insult them. They will reject your claiming they don’t need it. Maybe it is not your mission to help this person. offering help

Have you prayed about it?  Is the Spirit prompting you to help this person?  It is not your job to help every need.  God shows us who we should help.  Say for example you see a person with a sign requesting help.  You wonder if you should, are they faking it, should you give money, food, clothing, or just pray with them?  Trust God to tell you.  God not only tells you who you should help, but how. If you do not feel the Spirit prompting you to help, don’t feel guilty.  There is a drive at church, I want to be a good Christian, but I am not feeling any pull to give this charity.  They came to our church; and I want to look good.  If that is your motivation, then don’t help.  Your motivation to help someone should not be about you. It should be about sharing God’s love with someone.  If you are hesitant about accepting help allow the help. You have asked God, Right? Then trust he is giving you the help that you have requested. Even if the person offering the hand of help is someone that you don’t like.

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Asking for Help (It’s hard)

The other day, on social media, I asked for prayer.  I was humbled by the number of responses and extremely grateful.

crying
Have a hard cry

It had been one of those days when everything went wrong.  The previous night we received bad news. My body ached more than it had in some time. My vitals were terrible. I was 10 minutes behind all day.  I literally sat down and cried to God. I told him exactly how I felt.   Last nights news, was news that we had expected to be good news.  It turned out to be the opposite of what we expected. I told God how we felt let down. How my health was not getting better.  It had seemed to be getting better, but the past couple weeks; it was only getting worse. Then I heard this tiny voice say ask for help. I went on social media and asked for prayer. (the best help you can get)  I repeat, it was a tremendous response.  If you responded, even if you didn’t say anything        THANK YOU   I am feeling better.

 

We are still in need of help.  My illness has placed us behind. My husband works extra hours. I have been unable to do much of anything except make it to doctor appointments, trips to the store, and making meals. Which has left me feeling useless.  I know that I have to take care of myself and get better so I can continue to take care of others for years to come. But when all my efforts seemed to be failing, I started to feel down. Before this happened, not only had we started outdoor projects, I had started streamlining our house.

mess
My home is not this bad, but it feels as if it is

You know emptying the closets getting rid of stuff we hadn’t touched in years. It is all still sitting right where I left it months ago. Winter is here and the weatherization has not even started yet. So the other day, I was feeling bad about that. On top of it all, I learned the work car is going. But through many prayers, instead of just crying, I have started doing.  Inspired by my actions my husband and son are moving in a more positive direction.  Hopefully the work car will at least have windows that roll up.

 

The bottom line: When bad news pours, and our lives feel as if we are Job; we do not respond as Job, remembering God is in Control .  He has this and sometimes in the darkest hours, we just need to reach out and ask for prayer. 

 

Meaningless

Ecclesiastes 1:2:  Words of Solomon  hopelessness

“Meaningless! Meaningless!”
    says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
    Everything is meaningless.”

Have you ever read Ecclesiastes?  If you are prone to depression, you might not want to read Ecclesiastes.  This first verse sounds as if a depressed person wrote them. At least that is how it looks on the surface.

No one thinks that the person with everything could be depressed.

No one thinks that that smiling person could be depressed.  But as I said one of the most renowned men in the history of times, shows signs of depression.

read verses 17- 14:  It sounds as if he is tearing his clothes and crying out loud to God.

12 I, the Teacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem. 13 I applied my mind to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under the heavens.What a heavy burden God has laid on mankind! 14 I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.cropped-forgive.jpg

If this is how you feel, I suggest reading the Psalms. but most of all find someone to listen.

Just remember we are all broken.  What we do with it is what defines us.

 

 

Walking on a picket fence, Even for 10

Hello,  Sometimes I find myself walking on a picket fence, knowing that something is wrong not wanting to hurt people’s feelings divided on how to handle an uncomfortable situation. Not wanting to sound as if I am judging someone.

Sometimes I see people walking in the gray area and God says that person is not one in your path.  Then it is easy, they hit my radar but I am not supposed to reach out to them.  I am to pray for them.  When this happens, I have learned to not sin by reaching out to them anyway.  I am not a super Christian able to reach every person that crosses my path.  Sometimes those people that cross my path are there because I need them.  God sent them to help me.

Our nation is standing on a picket fence.  Or at least that is how it seems to me.  One side seems to want complete control of our lives.  They are willing to do anything to get it.

As Christians we should beware of the untruths that are being spread.

If we don’t accept the side that is trying to control everything we are called all sorts of bad names.  They don’t accept that if I say okay you do that but I don’t approve; that is my right.  They want everyone to believe exactly how they believe.

The early church had that problem.  Deceivers everywhere trying to change the Salvation message, the word of God.

Jude: 17-23:

17 But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. 18 They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” 19 These are the people who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit.

20 But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, 21 keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.

22 Be merciful to those who doubt; 23 save others by snatching them from the fire; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh.

I guess I just jumped off the fence.  I am on the Lord’s side. The deceivers are wrong. Bring on your bad names you haters of God. God is my choice. I have been on this side for some time now, I just have been silent. Which is wrong. I hear people say there is evil afoot and no one can stop it.  God can if we believe if we ask. God Can. I understand that if the bowls have been poured there is no going back.

Remember Sodom and Gomorrah?

How about What Abraham asked God?

Genesis 18:

22 The men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the Lord.23 Then Abraham approached him and said: “Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? 24 What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare[e] the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it?25 Far be it from you to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?”

26 The Lord said, “If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake.”

27 Then Abraham spoke up again: “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, though I am nothing but dust and ashes, 28 what if the number of the righteous is five less than fifty? Will you destroy the whole city for lack of five people?”

“If I find forty-five there,” he said, “I will not destroy it.”

29 Once again he spoke to him, “What if only forty are found there?”

He said, “For the sake of forty, I will not do it.”

30 Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak. What if only thirty can be found there?”

He answered, “I will not do it if I find thirty there.”

31 Abraham said, “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, what if only twenty can be found there?”

He said, “For the sake of twenty, I will not destroy it.”

32 Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?”

He answered, “For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it.”

33 When the Lord had finished speaking with Abraham, he left, and Abraham returned home.

If God’s people repent, if God’s people pray, God can stop the evil.

One flesh

Genesis 2:24:   That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

currently I am in a Bible study of Genesis and one of the questions in this verse asked does this apply to women as well? Are women supposed to leave their parents as the man and woman become one.

family pictureeMy first response to answer this question was to think about families taking care of their parents.  Do they always take care of the wife’s family?  I found that this is not always true people take care of their elderly parents based on who is able.  Sometimes it is shared with siblings.  There does not seem to be a rule and the Bible just talks about caring for your parents. (but most always widowed mothers)

Next I explored did women of the Bible leave their family behind. Take Rebekah, she left her family to marry Isaac.  But Jacob left his home to marry Rachel and Leah. Ruth left her family to follow Naomi eventually marrying Boaz.  imagine there are people that married someone from the community and stayed in the community.  But I can’t pinpoint any except maybe Mary and Joseph who left their community together.

So what exactly does that mean?  because inheritance used to be through the oldest son. family picture

I think it frees the sons up to pursue their own family. To be responsible for their own family. Sure they have an interest in their birth families estate and welfare.

Think of this way, mothers and sons are often close but when a son takes a wife, he has to put his wife before his mother.  That does not mean that he forgets his mom.

Sons leave their parents home to increase the families holdings.  Dad farms this land and the son farms across the street.

Sons leave the family home so they can focus on their own family.

Daughters leave the family home for the same reasons to take care of their families.

The Bible is very clear about honoring your parents. It is also clear that families expand because sons join with a wife. Eventually Jacob returned to his homeland.

Not sure I have answered the question just listed more possible answers.families pictures

It works that way. God reveals to each of us what we need.

It never dawned on me to live close to my family, we aren’t close.  My husband is close to his family.  But he does put me first.

JUST 10 MINUTES

Have you ever decided to create a new habit?  You know a good one like I am going to eat more vegetables. I am going to relax more. I am going to exercise more. I am going to spend more time sitting quietly before the Lord waiting for him to speak to me.

Change is hard.  But sometime it is necessary.  They say it takes two weeks for a habit to become a habit.  Actually it takes two weeks to get the idea in to your head that this is a good habit to have.

brussels-sprouts-1856711_640Increasing our vegetables is getting easier.  It takes baby steps to reach the lofty goal of 6 full servings of vegetables per day.   A full serving, according to clinical dietician who is coaching me is 1 cup.  Ever try to eat a cup of brussel sprouts.  But it is helping, I am losing weight and lowering my numbers.

Recently I realized that somewhere along the time, I stopped sitting quietly before the Lord. I used to get up early just to spend that time.  clockToday I tried 10 minutes that was what I could manage.  JUST 10 MINUTES.  It is okay, God knows that I am His.  It is a work in progress.  Hopefully this time, I won’t let the habit slide.  After all communicating with God is the most important habit to cultivate.

Prayer for Today:

iceland sunrise

John 3:19-21: 19 This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20 Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. 21 But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.

Prayer for the day: May we be Courageous enough to do everything in the LIGHT. 

Distraction and Fear

I have been thinking lately, that I need to write something.  I need to refocus on my mission.  But I was overwrought with fear. If you remember, about 4 months ago; I had  couple of serious emergency room visits.  I could have died.  But God said it is not my time.  I have more work for you to do.  At first I was resolute, this was not going to stop me.  Then another more serious event occurred.

I understand God, I need to slow down.  No problem, but how do I do that.  The past few months have been discovering how to let things go.  The furniture needs dusting, so what.  I need to make blah blah – so what, If I get to it, I will get to it.

One of the best things that I have done to minimize my stress is to buy my groceries online.  Yes, I have to trust someone else to pick it out for me. If it is not satisfactory, I can send it back.  How it works is I place an order and later I go pick it up.  This means I can look at the product before signing for it. Yippee

The real battle is the fear; if I start going too fast, then maybe I will end up back in the emergency room. I have once, but God is faithful. In that room my husband and I prayed.  My blood pressure dropped to an acceptable rate.  We learned the importance of praying together.

But I still wasn’t finding time to write to tell people how wonderful God is.  How he is changing me.  Even today, I resolved to write.  Things distracted me.  First the router flashed a message about authorizing an update.  Okay done. Then I remembered that I needed to order groceries.

Recently, I have been reading scripture reminding me “I should not fear, God is with me.” It really struck home when the doctor started quoting scripture to me. The tears rolled down my eyes, as I smiled back at him.  I heard God in his words.  Sure I had read it. Seemed as if every scripture I read; God was reminding me that he is in control and that I needed to focus on him.

One of the distractions sounded as if it were God, but then I prayed for confirmation.  I started reading scripture that clearly indicated that my ministry can not be separated from my husband’s ministry.  It sounded as if God had answered a long time prayer for me.  But after the third scripture mentioning that my ministry is interwoven with my husband’s ministry, I knew that this was the evil one trying to sway me.  See they kept saying don’t discuss this with anyone, not even your husband.  This is contrary to scripture.  Which by the way, is a good way to tell if it is really from God.  God’s advice will never contradict his word.

In the mean time, I was distracted from writing.  I was distracted from my spouse supported mission.

When I told him this morning that I was going to write something, his response was positive, but I could also hear the “it’s about time” in his voice.  God speaks to me through my husband all the time.  If you think God is telling you to do something and you are not certain; discuss it with your spouse.  If their answer is not what you want to hear, then it is not God.

My husband has been extremely supportive as I heal. He has not complained about how messy the house has become.  He has supported my efforts to lose weight and to become healthier.  I practice yoga and Ti’ Chi.  They are different forms of learning to calm the mind and breathing.  It is more than that but for this it is enough. I am working on incorporating prayer with my meditation, slow breathing.  This by the way is Biblical.

Isiah 35:4: say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.”

Isiah 54:17: no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lordand this is their vindication from me,” declares the Lord.

life changes learning how to slow the pace

Hello,

I am just writing a few words about #LifeWithJeus.

There are days when at the end of the day, I feel like I am losing while other days, I think I am winning.  There are days when I go to bed so exhausted that I have trouble going to sleep.  My vitals are monitored daily.  I hate to do it because if the numbers aren’t low enough, then I am stressed which doesn’t help anything.  But through all this Jesus has been there.  He is teaching me that what the doctors and I think are most important are not always important.  Sitting for half an hour to get the stress free BP can be annoying. But It is necessary.  So I pray and ask God to help me be patient.

Through this, I have realized that I have lost focus on the big picture.  Jesus.

The picture is clear, I see it in my mind’s eye.  Today I heard a clear message, stop worrying about my health and return to living.  Sure I need to pay attention to following my doctor’s advice; I just can’t make it my main focus. (Please don’t tell my husband)

He is still in the “I almost lost you stage”.  I have been so focused on staying calm, that it is all I do.  What I should be focusing on is Jesus.  He is telling me to focus on not rushing.  See my health went south because I rushed and rushed but I never got ahead. There was always something that if this were… I was trying to make everything perfect.  Because everyone would be happy if everything were perfect.  The truth is I was making everyone miserable trying to make everything perfect.  I was not happy.  I knew my vitals were bad but I didn’t take them enough to convince anyone that things were horrible wrong.  I heard people say take care of yourself.  Sure I do.  No I didn’t.  I thought I did.  I would get my hair done regularly, I worried that my outfit matched, shaved my legs, checked myself for cuts or bruises that weren’t healing.

That is not taking care of yourself.  That is making yourself presentable to the world.  What the world doesn’t realize is that I don’t care if things are out-of-place or mismatched. it is a huge stressful chore worrying about all that stuff.

Taking care of yourself means eating well, getting sleep, spending time with Jesus. Finding time to relax.  Each person relaxes in a different way.  Some people find playing Candy Crush relaxing Okay great for you.

I find baking relaxing.  I need to find people to eat the back goods.  I an accomplished baker. If it goes in the oven I got it.  If it is on top of the stove, well it is good but not great. I bake casseroles, cakes, cookies, meatloaf, spaghetti sauce, brownies, pies, (okay I am weak on pies), chicken – I do bake a pot pie that is out of this world good.  I am not such a hot pizza pie baker.  I am also not the best bread baker.  I either forget the bread and am baking at midnight or I don’t start it soon enough and hasn’t had enough time to raise.

Baking makes me think about how Jesus is with us.  We want to take short cuts, but in baking short cuts ruin everything. Jesus wants us to go through all the paces.

Trying to jump through the steps is like baking bread without any salt.

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